Wednesday, March 2

Great Snakes

Man finds python in toilet bowl.

This is one of those news reports you'd expect to happen in the Philippines but not elsewhere. You know, it's right up to that category of Woman-Gives-Birth-to-snake/fish/insertyourfavoritescalyanimalhere. (Or, insert the inappropriate toilet joke here.)

Makes you want to run right out and rent a video of Shake, Rattle, and Roll for that Manilyn Reynes episode called "Nanay," where this slimy creature follows her home after a field trip because she accidentally brought home its nest of unhatched eggs. Not sure if it's SRR 3, 4, 5 or 6 since the franchise had become undistinguished by then. All I'm sure of is that this particular installment also had Kris Aquino burying an undead sister perhaps titled "Ate." And perhaps it included the "Yaya" episode with Aiza Seguerra and that creature from the trees. But it's all blurry for me since by the time the 90s rolled around, her supposed decade of popularity, Manilyn Reynes became synonymous with "horrible horror movie." But those were fun times, before horror inevitably featured Asian chicks with bad hair days.

But back to the news: It's one of those perfect excuses for being late for work or school. "Can't do the presentation/report now, boss/prof. I got me a python sticking out of me toilet." Of course, it might come back to bite you in the arse. But that also reminds me of this one time our punk friend Sig said he'd be late because the elephants (or was it the giraffes?) were crossing the road. Barring that episode where an elephant did stroll down Edsa, who would believe your whacked excuse? Not unless you're Sig who lives across the Manila Zoo and the zoo just lost their water supply and said animals were given their baths at the playground opposite. Again, fun times. Wish I lived across the zoo though.

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