Clues for the clueless: How to successfully avoid someone and not make it seem obvious (No. 0002 of an infinite series)

1. Before you go online, make sure that your messenger and other such communication tools are set on invisible mode. It will be quite noticeable when you log in, and the one you're running away from buzzes you, do not immediately sign out.

2. If you happen to chance upon the poor schmuck in the hallway, in broad daylight, and you are within twelve inches of contact, do not avert look at him/her then stare at your toes or look at the floor. In the very least, pull out your phone and make a call. Talk to the air if you'd rather not talk to the shmuck.

3. Under no circumstances should you reason out that you just packed your bags and moved to the planet Pluto. There is no atmosphere or air to breathe in Pluto. Choose a black hole instead. That way, the poor schmuck would understand if you get vaporized and you're never heard from again.

4. Understand that avoidance is the coward's way out. If you're a reasonable person, at least offer an explanation as to why you're avoiding that person. Do not say that you miss them but unfortunately you're washing your car everyday for the next several months. Some people may be dense, but they'll catch on soon enough. When that is, is up to you.

5. Be kind. Better to obliterate the shmuck now. Make the obliteration complete. "I don't want to see you ever again" is a much better option than having the shmuck wonder what the hell happened.