Kris Aquino vs the terrorists

I thought I've seen everything, after this blog's visitation from "Hanni Miller." But no, here's more from someone who claims to be "no PR man of Star Cinema, much more of Kris & the Aquinos." (Shyet, sounds like a new band, parang Gladys & the Boxers w/ K.)

More specifically, this man who signed the comment box as "Jhun Garcia," but wants us to call him "Francisco," is supposedly a "date palms climber" in Kuwait. The comments were from 27 September, the day when I wrote about being sleepless after watching Feng Shui on the opening day. But I've been busy lately that I was only able to check on the blog this morning. Here's what "Jhun/Francisco" has to say, because it's just too juicy and insane to be paraphrased:

Rather, anything about Ms. Kris Aquino is a welcome respite in our daily lives here in Kuwait (& my kababayans out here agree in unison). Whether she is portrayed as a victim, antagonist, protagonist, predator, etc., her family’s advocacy against Martial law (including its excesses, ghosts, architects & minions), is more than enough to bulldoze, drive away, phase out or salvage her from all the concocted & multitudes of verbal diatribes, character assassinations & biases of the vocal few. Talk about having a bullet proof or a global human shield in us, the silent majority, who Kris & family could always count on in times of crisis & mass attacks!!!

So if I got it right, if and when the time comes that Osama bin Laden and his cohorts decide to attack the Philippines, we only have to frontline Kris Aquino and we will have a "bullet proof" not just against bombs but terrorists as well. And I just can't help but laugh about "Martial Law and its excesses, ghosts, architects & minions."

Maybe we should send a pirated DVD of Feng Shui to Washington and tell George W. Bush that he need not look further. Here stands Kris Aquino, formerly of Pido Dida and currently of Feng Shui, bullet proof terror fighter.

It doesn't stop there. He came back early today, 30 September, telling me to "feel free to delete [my] comments" as there's been a "Wave of Deletions" instigated by those who think he's a paid Star Cinema hack. He also tries to convince me that he's real, giving a phone number just to make sure. Then he started spewing Bible verses: "God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong..."

Uhm, hoo-kay. Another wacko, another day. I wouldn't be surprised if one day "Kuya Jesus" himself rolls over and drops a comment on my blog. Bring it on.

UPDATE: Apparently, I'm not the only one pestered by this wannabe PR guy. The Sheryl Cruz Fans Club reports a similar attack in his comments page, at approximately the same time. Given the feverishness of this Kris defendant, could it be the girl who got caught in the libel suit for allegedly circulating a defaming email/column feed to tabloid columnists? Hmm...

Save this lobster now!

In a bizarre piece of news, Edward Furlong was arrested trying to free lobsters in a grocery store. Oh-kay. Read it if only for the cow eyed mug shot at the end of the news article.

This comes in the wake of Macaulay Culkin's arrest because of drugs. What is it with these people? Is there a race for The Peewee Herman Award for people who were famous in the 90s?

*heart*

*heart* too. Back out, dude! This baby is mine! Harharhar!

*grabs lobster away* No way, dude! I saw her first!

, save me!

Yeah, looks like it.

Scorpio Nights Kimchi Style

Summertime is dubbed as the official Korean remake of Peque Gallaga's Scorpio Nights:

Summer Time ["Sseom-meo-ta-im"] Directed by Park Jae-ho. Screenplay by Yoo Gap-yeol. A student activist moves into an attic room in a small town, where he discovers a hole in the floor. After spying on the woman downstairs, the wife of a policeman, he enters her apartment and embarks on an affair with her. Set in the 1980s. An official remake of the mid-1980s Philippine film Scorpio Nights by Peque Gallaga. Starring singer/actress Kim Ji-hyun, Ryu Su-young, Choi Chul-ho. Cinematography by Shin Hyun-joong. Produced by Sidus. Distributed by Cinema Service. Rating: 18+. 103 min.

I came across this interesting bit while trolling around for relevant links for my previous post. I wonder how this one will turn out? Bolder and more vitriolic? Because given their propensity for teeth grinding (not to mention pulling) violence, I would expect no less than that. Of course they can also do kilig like nobody's business, but really, seeing a Pinoy cult classic transmogrified into a different culture (not really translated, but can't think of the right word right now) would really be something. If anyone out there has a dvd of this movie, please do throw it my way.

Bold movie history rewind

Let's call this my tangential Martial Law post. Cat of cathcath.com points us to this rather dated, but still relevant essay by Roland Tolentino in Bulatlat that traces the development of the Pinoy bold movie genre. It's a progression of how much flesh one can bare, and the various female film archetypes who exemplified each period.

It's interesting to note how the development of bold movies coincided with Marcos rule. The bomba film exploded around the time of the First Quarter Storm; then it was followed by the bold film, wet look stage (1974-1976); bold film, daring stage (1976-1982); FF (fighting fish film) films and pene films (1983-1986); ST or sex-trip film (1986-1992); and the TT films (1992-1998); and the PP films (1998-present).

These movies, according to the Tolentino essay, parlayed the dominant power structures of its time, as well as epitomizing the female archetype that viewers found desirable. Thus the wet look was personified by Gloria Diaz and the rise of the magic camison, the daring stage upheld young nymphets in the Alma Moreno mold, and the stars of ST movies were colegialas from good families like Gretchen Barretto and Cristina Gonzales.

Each period showed more and more skin, culminating perhaps with the actual penetration shown in pene movies. But these movies were not the mainstream ones shown in first rate cinemas, but rather in the dilapidated ones, and usually these are the supposed inserts made after the approved draft. I'm familiar with all of this, as the Tolentino essay is mostly an English version of his "Rosanna Roces at ang Maingay na Babae" essay from his bida ng pelikula book that analyzes how our pelikulas bidas are archetypes of wo/manliness.

What caught my attention is the "fighting fish" category. What exactly do they mean by that? Given that this kind of movie proliferated between 1983-86, way before I was able to watch movies, not to mention the bold ones for that matter, it also bookmarked the era right after Ninoy Aquino's assassination and up to the time of the first Edsa Revolution. The only movies that come to mind from this time is Scorpio Nights which starred Daniel Fernando and Anna Marie Gutierrez, and there's also Boatman which starred Ronnie Lazaro. There were no fishes in those movies, so I can only assume that it refers to the ferocity which the protagonists attacked each other in bed. Or something like that.

The Bulatlat article also describes the current bold movie scene as being PP. From 1998 onwards, this period is characterized not by partially exposing the private parts, but these are "simply laid bare to linger on screen and into the eyes of audiences." Joyce Jimenez leads the pack with her remake of Scorpio Nights, then Patricia Javier (Kabit ni Mrs. Montero), Sunshine Cruz (Ekis), Ina Raymundo (Anak ng Burlesk Queen) and Klaudia Koronel (Hubad sa Ilalim ng Buwan). These are movies that were made within the reign of deposed President Erap Estrada, once a movie star and typified the macho man in the movies and in office. A number of films of remakes of originals from previous bold eras: Ina Raymundo's remake of the relatively tame Burlesk Queen included full frontal shots, the new Scorpio Nights starring Joyce Jimenez carried the marquee "Peque Gallaga's Scorpio Nights," and the remake of Isla was a bolder, brighter version of the Celso Ad. Castillo one. According to Tolentino, these films "artistic attempts to savor the pleasures of seeing the female form in sexual action, as these are reworkings of recent classical films or new artistic endeavors. The stars themselves embody an umbrella coalition of disparate backgrounds--Filams, mestiza, local beauties co-dominate. However, the lean form, showcasing the enormous breast and humpy hips and buttocks, predominate the body type."

Bold movies in the time of Gloria Arroyo have yet to be characterized. The post-Edsa 2 bold scene (2001 onwards) is dominated by younger women, former teenyboppers who, after turning 18, shed off their clothes and bared their nubile bodies for everyone to see. Assunta de Rossi (Red Diaries, Sisid, Hubog, Bahid) and Rica Peralejo (Dos Ekis, Balahibong Pusa, Hibla) were two of the major proponents of this period, at least before they announced their "retirement" from taking off clothes for a living. Both were teenstars known for pa-cute and decorative roles in television until they decided to give the bold genre a try. Currently, the ones enjoying the spotlight tend to be younger and have that look of innocence and experience. Francine Prieto and Aubrey Miles are veteran cover girls of FHM, a lad mag whose popularity also zoomed up in the post-Edsa 2 era.

There's also a rise in girl groups like the Viva Hot Babes, who not only make bold movies singly or in groups, but are also involved in the current phenomenon of the direct to video "anthologies." These videos at first masqueraded as videokes where the girls gyrate to "My Way" or other OPM karaoke classics, then as "instruction manuals" on "the art of undressing," as is the case of the Patricia Javier's Bare Naked video. Viva Films now makes more videos than they do actual movies, partly due to the decrepit state that the Filipino movie industry is now in.

That's compounded by the recent backlash on bold movies. SM Cinemas ushered it with the ban on R-18 movies in their cineplexes. Which is why a lesser known group of bold starlets known as D'Bodies staged a protest wearing nothing but t-backs and plastic raincoats on Roxas Boulevard several days back. When the local police came over to arrest them, they handed over their transparent raincoats to the attendant police officers. They're now facing charges of public scandal and obstruction to traffic, among other things. It wasn't really a very smart move, and their arguments go along the lines of "if you ban bold movies we won't be able to make a living, sniff sniff" but it is a cause for concern. Do you ban bold movies because they cause the decay of our moral fiber or because a big bad mall said so?

As we have pointed out, historically, bold movies movies echo the economic and power structures of the day. Then does it mean that a presidency under Gloria Arroyo also translates to a superficial defense of public morality while diminishing everyone's capacity to make a living? This we have yet to see.

PUP's human rainbow

Last Saturday, the Polytechnic University of the Philippines made a bid to be in the Guinness Book of World Records by assembling over 31,000 students, faculty and alumni at the Quirino Grandstand in Luneta to form the largest human rainbow. The aim is to break the record set by HongKong Polytechnic in 2002 when they formed an arch of people wearing t-shirts the color of the rainbow.



But this year's bid is also part of PUP's celebration of 100 years, despite being known as the "outcast in the stupendous theater of academic excellence." PUP has more than 50,000 students spread across 18 campuses, and is generally known as the Poor Man's University, but it also gets the littlest sliver of the budget allotted for state colleges and universities. If successful for the Guinness bid, PUP aims to utilize the event to lobby for more funds and to "rouse local legislators to pass legislation that will shore up our material reserves to ease the burden of ‘working [their] way through’ every day." Well, at least they are doing something.

And the university who gets the biggest portion of the budget is also currently protesting because of the Php67 million slice off their budget. Maybe we should also form a bigger human rainbow?

Just to clear off things, I studied high school in PUP's Laboratory hs, and went to university in Diliman. So that makes me a Maroon twice over. My brother is part of the rainbow event--he wore red I think--and they've been practicing for months already. But I sort of slept through the entire event because was too tired from checking papers the previous night.

Crush of the week

Toni Gonzaga is cute and suddenly everywhere. And the article never mentions that she was part of that soap we all worked on. Yun lang.

Nightmare in apple green

This morning's vaguely remembered dream has me walking down my building's familiar hallway. I was in that dimly lit corner leading to the office to get my mail.

"Hi," she said. Whenever I see this girl, it's like being thrown back to a time when folks didn't seem to care much about the ozone layer the way they propped their hair up with AquaNet. She's one of the few people I know who despondently cling to the fashion foibles of her generation.

80s girl flipped her hair and hoisted self up on desk. Suddenly, I was blinded by a flash of apple green--and half a butt exposed along with it. She wore one of those pleated short skirts. That place could never be illuminated properly, but there it was, a blinding flash of color.

Chunky legs, green skirt, half a butt. May the good Lord save us all.

Still no sleep

I've been awake for 3 straight days now. The last time I closed my eyes to sleep and rest was Tuesday night, or very early Wednesday morning. I didn't have my midweek break because I had make up classes and then a meeting in the afternoon. Then I had the brilliant idea of watching Kris Aquino in Feng Shui--on the opening day. Oh it was the usual color saturated Star Cinema film that it was, with generous dollops of Sadako and the generic Asian horror cinema tricks throw in. But I caught the last full show, got home, and started getting all hyper about every miniscule bounce, step and kuliglig rasping around me. I tossed and turned and even felt that little earthquake.

But for the life of me I couldn't turn off the lights and sleep. At 4am, I gave up and booted up my computer and attempted to post something, but my brain was all fried and grilled. I finally had the courage to turn on the nightlight when daylight crept inside my windows. I could hear the neighbors stirring. Time to sleep.

It was four more hours of tossing to no avail. Threw my hands up and dragged my carcass out of bed, got ready for school, and proceeded to make a bumbling parrot of myself. That's what you get when you're fueled by Nescafe.

Then I joined some friends in their lamay night and I attempted to check papers. Then I tried watching some tv and Andrea del Rosario's life was on MMK, and it didn't seem like tv to me.

I still haven't slept. If I keel over and die, it's Kris Aquino's fault. But don't tell her about it.

Boldstar drama queen

I don't know how this figures in in the scheme of things, but my referrers list had a Yahoo Search entry for Hanni Miller, and from there I learned that earlier this year, just right after the showing of the blockbuster Puri, she was diagnosed with the early form of ovarian cancer. And not only that, she was diagnosed and overcame leukemia when she was sixteen.

Unless Hanni Miller makes a comeback in this blog, there is no way of knowing if all this is true, or just a way to pander to all our wawa instincts, biz: Ay, she has cancer wawa naman siya.

Okay, am stopping now lest an angry boldstar comes charging for my jugular.

Calling all Noranians

Is Nora Aunor more than just an artista to you? Do you have all her records and have watched all movies, and can you list down all the houses she has ever owned, rented or stayed in for a sizeable period in time? Do you believe that Nora Aunor is the narcotic our society needs, as some academics claim her to be?

If you answer yes to any or to all those questions, you might be interested in a Noranian anthology a group is coming up with:

Magkakaroon ng isang compilation ng mga essay tungkol sa inyong pagiging Noranian o tungkol sa kakilala niyong Noranian (lola, nanay o tatay, kasambahay, o iba pang kakilala). Ang focus ng essay ay hindi si Nora, kung hindi ang mismong Noranian.

Maaaring sumasagot sa sumusunod na mga tanong:

1) Paano ako naging Noranian?

2) Anu-anong mga kabaliwan ang mga nagawa ko bilang Noranian?

3) Sino si Nora sa buhay ko?

Note: Puwede ang kahit na anong paksa o kahit na anong nakatutuwa o malungkot na anecdote.

Minimum of 4 pages up to 7 pages. Nakasulat sa Filipino (puwedeng Taglish).

Ang awtor ng mapipiling mga akda ay mabibigyan lamang ng isang complimentary copy ng aklat. Lakipan ang contribution ng bionote o maikling impormasyon tungkol sa inyo.

Ipadala sa nestdeguzman@yahoo.com on or before Sept. 15, 2004. Mabuhay ang mga Noranians!

My mother is a Vilma Santos fan and needless to say, just for the heck of being the rebellious daughter, I told her that Nora kicks ass. If there are any other Noranians out there, heed the call.

Hanni Miller hates me

More than that, Hanni Miller hates my guts. I was just browsing the blog for comments and was surprised to see an avalanche of hot words. Here is "hanni miller"'s comment to my debate post:

who ever wrote this thing i just want to clear, i never had any movie like kangkong or buko pandan. I only made one movie entitled PURI. And bold shouldnt be the right term to use, as if its PORNO right? EVery star started from nothing unless you belong to a family of stars. Im not a little known stars. just be careful of writing down terms that arent sounds good to whom u referring to. thanks
hanni Miller | Email | 09.07.04 - 4:12 am | #

Now I thought that was that. And here is my response:

dear hanni miller, if that's really you, and if you really read my post, i actually was protesting that ban against r18 movies. i never called anyone a porno star because i know what's "porno" and what's not. so what do you want to call it? does "sexy" sound good to you?

also, before i write anything about anyone, i check them out at Imdb.com. yes, i know you made Puri, and that you guested in Wag Kukurap as the tiktik, but you were also listed in Silang Mga Rampadora, hence the reference. if you want you can look it up in my other blog posts. then you would learn that i actually took up the cudgels for them boldstars.
xkg | Homepage | 09.07.04 - 1:12 pm | #

Chill crept up my spine when I scrolled lower and found this in my Wag Kukurap blog post:

ive been reading all the write ups here, it seems someone really hate me here as if she or he wanted to comment but the thing is she really want to insult and kick me. u never know who the hell i am when someone tried to do something like this to me huh! do u really know about tiktik and that she can hear u talking about her wherever u are. im the most mysterious person u never met and u should know that.. be careful [emphasis mine]
hanni Miller | Email | 09.07.04 - 4:34 am |

Did a bold star just threaten me with bodily harm?

On one hand, part of me doesn't want to believe that this is the real Hanni Miller. Identities can always be faked online, just look at Kris Aquino and her infamous lj.

But a part of me wants to consider this real, primarily because of the gut reaction of "hanni miller." She took it personally, without really reading closely and getting what I meant to say. The implication of the comments also point to the supernatural: "do u really know about tiktik and that she can hear u talking about her wherever u are. im the most mysterious person u never met and u should know that.. " Does this mean that "hanni miller" is a tiktik and I should be careful? Or is it, wala lang, nakita niya pangalan niya tapos magreact na lang.

Besides, my blog is not even the #1 search result for Hanni Miller. I don't really believe that's you Hanni girl. Or if it's really you, I don't mean you harm. You're in showbiz, just take this in stride like the strongest intriga there is. But So there.

Bangkok Fantasy

F4 storms Bangkok. I swear these guys are just about everywhere. They were scheduled to have a concert there after I flew out. Saw this billboard while crossing overpass near our place. A bit grainy, but that's the best I could manage. I had to risk life and getting limbs crushed if I ever tumbled over and down into the expressway below.



This road leads to the Don Muang Airport. (Pronounced "dorn meu-ang" which is Thai for "house on a hill.") The thing that struck me about Bangkok is that they all have these long, wide stretches of concrete: expressways and the double decker sky trains, flyovers looping into infinite double-triple helixes, the newly opened subway. And yet they still have all those temples, the smallest of which you can find in street corners along side the shopping complexes. It’s really East and West meeting, even if Mark Twain said that never the two shall meet.

Debate with Mare, Pare and the Bold stars

This is a crucial time for Philippine movies. As we have previously pointed out, a significant percentage of the movies we come up with each year are independently produced bold movies. Yes, they star little known stars like Hanni Miller, and have weird titles which sound like salads--Kangkong with Buko Pandan. A lot has been said about how they corrupt our youth and our nation's moral fiber. Apparently, everyone seems to be so busy about reviving and strengthening our morals. (Mag Creamsilk conditioner na lang kayo.)

Recently, SM Cinemas have decreed they would not show bold movies anymore. As a result, these little known boldies are protesting: they are to be robbed of whatever pittance they make for a living and will be forced to stage fashion shows and revues to earn money, or worse, attempt to sing and dance like the rest of those artista wannabes.

People are applauding that movies rated R-18 or For Adults Only will not be shown in SM malls anymore.

The question is that is this going to be a trend, and an eventual move in phasing out all films deemed for mature audiences only? Remember that not all R-18 movies are about disrobing. If so, are we voluntarily causing our collective cultural myopia? I say don't ban these movies. If you want, create a cinema complex for these, but don't take them away altogether. If you do that, you are stepping on other people's rights to see libog on screen. And I mean that in a very good way.

Tonight's panel include Manoling Morato, and we all know what he's going to say, Juliana Palermo who's only there to listen, Fr. Nico Bautista who proclaimed that banning R18 movies are against human rights, and Butch Francisco, who's still wearing his atrocious suit from this evening's Cine Europa opening.

Please let your opinions be heard. So far, the moralists are on the lead. Participate in Inq7's online Debate poll here.

Updates later.

Kanto Girl meets Sassy Girl

In one of my many many walks in downtown Bangkok, I came across this multiplex in Siam Square which shows non-mainstream movies. The viewing fare is more artfilm than Hollywood, and during my visit they were showing, among other things, Windstruck by Korean star Jeon Ji-hyun.

A ragtag crew of young people have set up many pink windmills at the theater lobby to attract viewers for a mini tribute show in the afternoon.



They had this booth with posters, t-shirts and other paraphernalia for sale. There's even a poster signed by both Jeon Ji-hyun and that guy from Volcano High.



Of course, the fangirl in me just had to stop and take pictures.





The crew invited me to the program. Unfortunately, I was caught in the rain and wasn’t able to go back in time. I planned to shanghai Wally into watching the movie. There was a 4.30pm and an 8.45 screening. (In between they were showing an indie with Rachel Leigh Cook and a French movie. So in a day, they could feature as much as 4 different movies with different screening times in a single cinema.) But rain and life barred me from watching, so I guess I'll just watch it on DVD.

More entries about the Bangkok Quest soon, when my avalanche of midterm papers have subsided.

Ignoring the obvious

Every so often, local media would churn out reports about fetuses in shoe boxes that turn up in churches. That's regular tabloid fare. Networks would trundle out "exposes" about manghihilots, niceties for abortionists. Tonight, Jessica Soho Reports joins the ranks of those who raise their fists against our decaying moral fiber. Apparently, all the towns in the Philippines have their own village abortionist. Oh, they call it a manghihilot, or the friendly "herbal medicine advocate" outside Quiapo church who sells pamparegla, but it's abortion just the same.

What follows is a primetime witch hunt of these women who essentially snuff out the results of uninformed hetero sex. They also managed to trundle out women who got pregnant quite young, sought out the easy solution in the form of pills or hilot, and became infected when the catherer was left for 3 days inside their uterus. Then there's also the woman who had 3-7 abortions a year. But she didn't stop there: every time she hears about another woman who's rumored to be pregnant and might be interested in the operation, she would convince the woman to go to her "suking abortionista." What's even more appalling is not it's not even that expensive to get things done. Two hundred pesos (roughly $3.57 with the current exchange rate) for every month of conception. But then Catholic guilt kicked in and she stopped being an abortionist's agent. She started a new life and is now on her eleventh pregnancy.

To give the feature the appearance of fairness, they interviewed this woman from a woman's reproductive health organization, and her suggestion was to legalize abortion to avoid all these "gruesome events" of fetuses in boxes. What's even more gruesome, she says, is the number of women who die each year from the complications of botched abortions. These are, after all, medical operations. If you legalize them, if you make women aware of their choices, that they could get themselves qualified medical people to do it for them, then there would be no need to hie off to far off neighborhoods in the provinces or in the more unreliable parts of town to procure oneself of such a procedure.

Well and good. I'm all for women empowerment and all that blah. Make the women aware of their choices. Legalize the operation. Everyone is pointing fingers that all these things stem from the fact that young people are becoming aware of sex early. But nobody is telling these kids that if you have sex, you better use protection or else you might find yourself with a baby nine or so months down the road.

That's actually more basic than the abortion problem. So girls, nice or not, do get knocked up. Are we still going to be scandalized or are we going to do something about it?

But apparently, people just want to pretend that no, nobody ever has sex in this country except the married people. And the married people pretend that they're not having sex with people not their spouses. So when the problem does make itself known --bumukol na ang nauukol--that's when they scurry around for the solution. You want to fool around, get yourselves some rubber. It would save us all some time.

I actually miss those Reproductive Health ads from some eons ago. The only way we get out of this mess is for people to be aware of their responsibilities that come with pursuing physical relationships. It will solve the population problem.

We're already 80 million strong. We don't have the means to feed all our people, take care of them decently. People aren't getting basic health care. We don't need any more babies regardless of whether the church says it's bad to say no to God's little gifts.

Let's cut out the Catholic guilt crap. If we churn out more and more babies and people aren't ready to take care of them, you're just bringing out lives that will end up in poverty. I think that's an even more cruel end than becoming an exhibit in a forensic museum when you die.

For all this crap, maybe it's time to trundle out Rosanna Roces again if only to have a loud woman speak out loud enough that hey, we have to do something other than pretend to be moral and all. What would even be better is to ask people who will make people sit up and listen.