What does sex look like?

The Dutch have the answer.

A team of Dutch scientists used Magnetic resonance imaging of male and female genitals during coitus and female sexual arousal. The group also traced other experiments in this field of study, most notably, that of Leonardo Da Vinci, whose drawing "The Copulation" showed that semen in males comes from the brain and goes down the spine. Sort of gives you confirmation about how certain parts of the population think. Feh.

But really now, the Dutch, they really know how to do a really cool science project.

Feminist Fairy tales

Last week in fiction class, we read (or rather, the teacher read for us) selections from Barbara Walker's "Feminist Fairy Tales." Walker is convinced that "in the beginning, classical fairy tales show little respect for women, except as young and beautiful 'princesses.'" Their only role was to be decorative, "in the customary female function in these old stories. Girls without beauty are automatically also without virtue, happiness, luck or love."

Thus, Walker's purpose in rewriting the said narratives is "to elevate the role of the women in the fairy tale to a stronger, more independent one, capable of leaving for fixing her unhappy position, usually at the hands of abusive men." But unlike satirists who poke fun at the situation, Walker is is described as a 'humerlus' person, totally devoid of humor.

I also found totally unrelated stuff for my fiction class homework, but all I found was this: A post-colonial canonical and cultural revision of Conan Doyle's Holmes narratives and this.

I'm still at a loss what to do with the homework, although I have the idea that I want to put together Megastar Ate Shawie, Gabby Concepcion, Magick Sing and Aegis' "Basang-basa sa Ulan." Ate Shawie, who has everything but used to be unhappy in love and luckless when it comes to men, makes up for everything by earning tons in her endorsements. She did her time at the hands of abusive men. So I want her to totally get over it and kick some abusive male ass.

If not that, I'm tempted to put together Ate Vi and the legend of sampalok. Tapos puro krompalan scenes lang ever. Wala lang. I--actually me and Yummy--have decided to cast ourselves as the class' resident airheads. Just to continue what we have established in our first day of class last week: We arrived late, and gave totally blah answers to the question, "Why do you write?" Our CW10 kids would have given better answers. Feh.

UPDATE: I decided to go with the Sharon and Gabby thing. I totally horsed around, and I almost shriveled when the teacher picked my homework to be read out loud first. While I thought that it would just be submitted and she'd read it as an exercise, the whole class actually had to critique it. As in give it a reading, ladida, the works. And Yummy gave a totally airhead answer: "It was funny! I liked it!" Go, airheads! Heehee.

The Grandmammy of all covers

Now here's something guaranteed to make you fall off your chairs: What happens if you cross Kylie Minogue with Tori Amos?

A totally weird cover version of Can't Get You Out of My Head. (Scroll down for the page for the link.) Seriously. I know this is like nearly a month late, but still worth the download. I know the cover was done becaue of good intentions, but really, our only comment when the song finally played out was something out of Melanie Marquez: "Ms. Amos, ang labo mo!" Hehehe.

[Thanks to Hanah for telling me the news.]

How to write a term paper

Once again, the guys at TMN bring you incredibly useful advice. This time they give us the lowdown on how to write a term paper--complete with tips on pagination, margins, font size, and of course, with pictures:

But if school taught us how to do anything, it showed us how to turn the un-presentable into the presentable—at least by the end of class on the due date. In fact, we can assure you there is no poster that can’t be improved with an extra photocopied textbook illustration, no diorama that can’t rise another letter grade with an accompanying oral argument about how you’ve truly revealed Ibsen’s underlying dramatic—and certainly no short essay that resists inflation into a term paper four times the normal size of its content.

For students attempting to google me: If you do exactly as the TMN guys tell you for your papers in Eng10, you will get a fat, round grade in your classcards. No dice.

How to fold a fitted sheet

I am a ditz and a klutz when it comes to folding and ironing stuff, so this advice from Target (Target! Of all places!) on how to fold a fitted sheet is really really helpful. I got confused a bit, but at the end of the day, I had my sheets folded just fine.

More how-to's:



Silksreen your shirt designs using stencils and fabric paint. Looks nice noh? via.

So long, Mrs. Robinson

Actress Anne Bancroft passed away at age 73 from uterine cancer.

According to the New York Times article, she worked hard to get beneath the surface, to inhabit a role as deeply as possible. While preparing for her role as Helen Keller's teacher in "The Miracle Worker," the film that gave her an Oscar, she taped her eyes shut so that she'd know what it's really like to be blind.

But even with dedication like that to her craft, Anne Bancroft was still known for her portrayal of the middle aged seductress Mrs. Robinson in the 1967 film "The Graduate." In an interview conducted in 2003, she expressed concern and slight disappointment that her "meatier" roles were all obscured by attempt to educate a rather well-heeled young man just out of college.

I must confess that I'm one of those Ms. Bancroft must have loathed. "The Graduate" is one of my favorite "directional*" movies, and every time I hear the Simon and Garfunkel intro I can't help but hum along and envision Dustin Hoffman staring at those stockinged feet.

Anyhow, more useless info about that movie according to the interviews in the 25th year anniversary laser disc edition: Despite the roles they played in the movie, there really wasn't much of a "generational gap" between her and Dustin Hoffman, who was already thirtyish when he took on the role of Benjamin Braddock. He was like 31 to her 36. And between Hoffman and Katharine Ross, the girl who played Elaine Robinson, it was the latter who was more popular at the time.

When the film came out when it did, in the late 60s, it spoke to an entire generation of people who were advised to invest in a future in plastics, although I am more inclined to wear sunscreen. It is my goal that someday, I will be as well preserved as Mrs. Robinson.

*The other films in that library include Reality Bites and Ghost World.

Asian Lesbians or Siths?

Nerve interviews first time filmmaker Alice Wu, who is being hailed as the poster girl for Asian-American lesbians with the debut of her film "Saving Face." Here's what she has to say on being gay and Asian: "I think a lot of people end up getting married and having kids because suddenly there's nothing to graduate from. One thing about coming out — your parents and Hallmark stop saying, 'You need to get married now.'"

When questioned by a male Canadian customs officer, Wu had to describe her opus as "an old-fashioned romantic screwball comedy." When the customs guy dismissed Wu's work as "chick stuff", Wu told him that he might think differently if he saw her lead actresses - "three beautiful women." The customs guy apparently considered this for a minute, then said, "I do like beautiful women. But no male leads? Where does the romantic part come from?" As though it's not possible to have a romantic comedy with an all girl cast.

I was reminded of this review I saw in a magazine that there's a smattering of Pinoy indie movies like Ang Lagusan (horrible) or that long winded movie (a little less horrible), and an entire selection of gay movies like Duda, Bathhouse, or Macho Dancer if you want to go back that far, but we hardly have anything about girls.

Which leads us to ask, "Yeah, where are all the girls?" Given a choice between girls or Siths, where will you throw your money?

Behind the Scenes with Direk Monski Elagra

So what if people are saying that Pinoy movies are dead or dying? Mechajol knows how important teeny bopper movies are to the development of Filipino culture: "Gaano man ka-cheesy ang mga projects ni direk Monski, medyo weird pa rin sa part ko, na interbyuhin ang taong responsable sa mga pelikulang nagpayaman sa mga stockholders ng Candida Notebooks. Ahhh... ang masasayang taon ng dekada '80... kapag sinabi ng teaher mong pass your notebooks, aalon sa classroom ang makikinang na mga ngiti ni Nikki Therese na naka-japorms pa ng acid wash na maong..."

Here's an excerpt from his talk with Direk Monski Elagra, director of the upcoming teen movie "Labs Kita! O Di Ba? Okey Ka Lang? Wakekekekekeke!!!" and how it's going to save the Filipino film industry:

Mechajol: Pero teka, sufficient ba na mag-rely sa kilig factor at sa artista lang? Most of the foreign movies kasi, have them, plus better quality and production...

Direk Monski: Mech, I've been doing this for how many years na..? Haay... Hahaha... Ang tanda ko na pala... Anyway, I've been doing this for a long time na! And the formula still works!

M: Formula over creativity... ang essence ng Tagalog movie production...

DM: Hey, if it ain't broke, why fix it? If it sells, why experiment? Di ba?

Monski Elagra is an oldtimer in the Pinoy film industry. He started as an editor in '80s Tagalog movies, and debuted as a director in the late '80s with his first teen love story, "Love, Never Say Goodbye, My Love..." produced by Harmony Films. This was also the launching movie of Luis Baylon, and the tragic "Starlet of the New Year" Nikki Therese.

Meanwhile, Mechajol blogs with Team Angas, and is also known as The TIN Boy.

Chuck P's Haunted Interview

In this interview with Chuck Palahniuk about his new novel Haunted, he analyzes his fascination with narration, both in literature and in culture, and the relationship between the two. He points out the power of the storyteller in our times: "..[W]hoever the final narrator of our times, our culture, may prove to be, that person or entity wields a power that is central but hidden. It is the power to define our times and our culture, the power to define our lives."

The interview is available in both mp3 and Real Audio, although be warned that they're quite hefty and raunchy. So if you're no big fan of strong words (all the usual cusswords) and you don't have a strong computer (file is 32mb), maybe this is not for you.

lets us see the view from the camera behind the camera.

This Just In...News from The Agony Column

Letting it fly

The Non-Experts at TMN presents 45 additional alternatives to Paul Simon's "50 Ways to Leave Your Lover."

Singer-songwriter Paul Simon originally gave us just 5 ways, actually, if you follow the song's chorus: “slip out the back, Jack; make a new plan, Stan; you don’t need to be coy, Roy; hop on the bus, Gus; just drop off the key, Lee, and get yourself free."

Of the new list, I like:

44. Feed her to a shark, Mark
43. Harvest his kidney, Cindy

The rhyming gets a little stale afterwards, but still fun. Although if what you're after is the unmistakeable madness of your intent to break up, I think nothing still beats Weird Al Yankovic. Just consider the following lines from "You Don't Love Me Anymore":

You know, I even think it's kinda cute the way
You poison my coffee just a little each day
I still remember the way that you laughed
When you pushed me down that elevator shaft

Oh, if you don't mind me asking, what's this poisonous cobra
Doing in my underwear drawer?
Sometime I get to thinking you don't love me any more

Also, while I was doing my laundry and my music player was at random, The Corrs came up with that back to back anthem leading to the inevitable--"What Can I Do" followed by "I Never Loved You Anyway." I always thought that the placement of those two songs in the Talk on Corners album was just perfect. It moves from tired but still hopeful to dripping sarcasm. And I always did like sarcasm when it comes to burning bridges.