Going Godiva

Weekends are the only days I get to sleep in, wake up late, and then have brunch. While I admittedly do not have full control of my faculties anytime before noon, I also think that flipping channels on the television doesn't take up too many neurons. You can even multi-task if you want to: bite bread, put milk in coffee (I'm not a big fan of milk in your cereal, coffeemate in your coffee--no matter what Alex Compton says), stir in sugar, push remote control button, gulp coffee, repeat.

I was in that state when I happened to catch this commercial on the travel and living channel. Apparently, it's no longer acceptable to have just your brown skin made artificially white by green/orange papaya extracts. After all, it would be terribly weird to have glowing and radiant skin all over, and yet your lips are darker. What a giveaway! Everyone will know that you are not a natural tisay. The shame! The horror!

Zora Ruth Andam, 2001 Binibining Pilipinas-Universe, extolled on the many wonders of Godiva Lightening Lip Gloss, which "contains Licorice Extract, a safe and effective natural ingredient." For the amazing amount of ninety pesos (roughly $1.60 here, but sold for $5 abroad), you can slip this product in your bag, jacket or even your pocket. Why suffer from embarrassingly dark lips when you can apply this product, moisturize your dry and parched lips for that perfect pout?

But wait, there's more! The former beauty queen insists, "Godiva isn't just for lightening your lips here," and she looks us in the eye and then she looks down engagingly somewhere below. She then samples us her now perfect pout. "Godiva, for lighter lips and nips."

I nearly choked on my own coffee, milk notwithstanding. What the hell was that? I have grudgingly accepted that people will now use papayas and whatever else they can get their hands on to have lighter, shinier and more glowing skin. I will even accept the explanation that these products just want to "even out" your complexion. But please tell me what does Zorayda Ruth Andam, who graduated from the UP College of Law and is currently part of the prosecuting panel in the Subic rape case, mean by that lowered gaze?

We're not just talking about visible skin surfaces here. Now you can't just be a girl with artificially whiter, pinker skin. You have to go the whole hog of pinker "lips and nips." What she means by that, I really want to know. (And oh, if you happen to have "ethnic skin" that you want to whiten, Godiva also has a product for that. Go check it out.)

I used to think that hey, here's a girl who proved that she was more than just a beauty queen. Now, something tells me maybe she had more than just creamer in her coffee.