Tuesday, January 16

Seven Signs of the Anti-Aging Apocalypse, Not

I was about to pick up this tube of eye cream when someone tapped my wrists. "What did you do that for?" I said.

"What do you need this for?" my friend said.

"Dark circles under the eyes? Look," I said.

"I don't see anything," she said. "You don't need it." This coming from someone with an entire closet full of skin care products.

Perhaps she's on the right track. Apparently, dermatologists are now advocating a "cosmetics restriction diet," which means going back to basics: get a mild cleanser and an effective sunscreen, then if you're really paranoid about the skin around your eyes or spots, then perhaps a product that caters to that.

Meanwhile, scientists have also identified that part of our brains which tell us we should buy the product. It's the same voice that convinces us that it's not just about having fair enough skin. Now they get you into the program by telling you skin aging starts as early as 23. Sounds effective, because every other ad on television is meant to battle the seven or eight--whatever--signs of early aging.

Heck, it's not even a battle anymore: it's a full scale war. It's not just about skincare products. Everywhere you look, there's bound to be an ad. It's inescapable. What are we to do?

Maybe we should just all close our eyes and say yes to the sunscreen. Nyar.

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