Sunday, November 20

Hotness follows

Slate gives academics everywhere tips on how to be the hottest professors on campus:
Don't play favorites, yet don't deny students extra credit or a second chance on a paper or test. Don't "get sidetracked by boring crap." Don't refer to yourself in the third person. Don't ever call on students. Don't be "mean," "hateful," or "ambiguous." Don't take attendance. Don't be "high on Viagra and full of yourself." Don't be "distractingly spastic." Very important: Don't talk about stuff in class and then put other stuff on the test. Most important: Don't give low grades. Do show slides. Do offer easy assignments. Do crack jokes and "provide a fun teaching atmosphere." Do show up at your office hours. Do give A's on all group projects. Do walk your dog around campus. Do resemble a celebrity of some sort. Finally, try your best to be "awesome."
This wee bit of wisdom is taken from the site, where "the students do the grading." But first, certain heartbreaking facts: while 47% of American classrooms are wireless, a huge percentage of Philippine schools still lack classrooms--or a decent registration process, natch. Next, it says that language departments account for the hottest professors. What do they mean by "language"? Do they mean English (or Filipino?) or the more exotic sort that comes with accents. (Hmm.. if I sport a Visayan or maybe Batangas accent, will that make me hot? Hmmm...) Also, while the article says that "hotness can have a powerful effect on students," it must be said that there's a huge possibility that hotness might not be the very first thing on professor's minds.

If we do believe the said criteria, I can just imagine that I'd probably one of the avoided people on campus. ("She gives out 5.0s, ahhhh!") At any rate, hotness is a bit difficult to achieve when it's so hard to get up early in the morning in the latter -ber months. But, oh, we do try.

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